One of the biggest shortcomings an aspiring artist can have involves not having another artist from which to draw inspiration, and I suffer from that every day. A friend once asked me which photographer inspired me most, and I struggled to answer. The only name that came to mind was Paolo Roversi. Other than that, I have not delved into the world of photography as I should have.
To fix this, I branched out a little since then, but not as much as I should have. I was lucky to discover Peter Lindbergh in my search. A photographer that commands drama in his work like I one day hope to do. Also, a film director, as I wish to be someday. I didn’t know much of him but on the surface, it was clear that he was everything I wished to be when it comes to imagery.
I had only a few months to become familiar with his work before his passing yesterday, and waking up in a world without him puts quite a few clouds in the sky. It was a silly thing to hope that one day I could meet him and pick his brain, figure out what makes a photograph tell stories and radiate emotions. But it matters that I have a body of work to study from. His mark has been left. Much of what he has created survives today and influences young hopefuls like me, challenging us to be better than just kids with cameras.
I never knew him, and I didn’t know of his work for very long, but I’m very grateful to have learned his name. One thing I’ve realized over the past year is that simple seeds grow into mighty, towering trees. I’m hoping the seed he planted in me turns me into a worthwhile artist.
Thanks, Peter. Bravo.
So. This is awkward.
I’ve left my mother’s house, and ended up at my friends’ apartment. The moment was exhausting, but…there was no bitterness to it, no sadness. But more importantly, I’m still here in the Atlanta area for the time being. I’m trying to figure out a way to keep myself here because this arrangement is temporary. I’m not ready to give Atlanta up just yet.
I guess it’s a little late to announce that I’m going to Momocon! (Insert awkward thumbs up here.) I would have announced that on this blog earlier, but up until 5 minutes ago….there was not blog….because there was no site. All my money went into moving and I had to let the subscription go. But thankfully, I’m booking shoots now, and I was able to get my site up just in time for convention.
I have to thank my friend who pulled some strings and managed to get me a badge out of the kindness of her heart. I wouldn’t be going were it not for her. Since I’m thanking people, I’m going to do an awkward thank you for a lovely woman whose help was invaluable to saving everything I could. Whenever I do get my own place, their mark will be all over it now.
Now all that there’s left to do is to stop beating myself up for needing help and not having all the answers at 28. Even if I didn’t dedicate my life to taking care of mom and dad, chances are, I still wouldn’t have figured life out by now. And there is no one on Earth who made it without help. So I’m going to stop apologizing for having needed it during the worst series of moments of my life.
And after that? Momocon! I’m eager to shoot with you all again, and put together the best book I can make. I’m not going to sit here and wonder if this is my last convention, because each time I thought I was out, I found myself still here, still surviving, still ready. So I’m just gonna shoot for being the best photographer I can be.
Momocon 2019. Let’s do it.
Psst. Super shameless and ugly plug: Click here for booking inquiries: $15 for a shoot, plus $5 for each additional person in a group. Advanced bookings get $5 off.
Well, here’s the news I wish I didn’t have to give.
As some of you know, I’ve been a caretaker to my mother for a few years. She applied for a reverse mortgage a few years back in order to make ends meet and to help me out of an unfortunate situation. Back in September, mom passed, and the balance became due. But, in contrary to what we thought, I could not pay the loan back in installments after her death. From that moment on, my home was headed for foreclosure.
Today, that foreclosure completed. I’ve been given some time to vacate and find somewhere else to stay.
Unfortunately, my personal situation doesn’t afford me many options, and the only option I have open to me is to return to Ohio.
It’s with a heavy heart that I inform you that I’m leaving the Atlanta area.
I thank you for the past couple of years of learning, and imagery. I love you for showing me a part of this city and this culture that I adore with all my heart. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more to contribute to this community.
You are all, in your own way, major inspirations, and losing you is unbearable. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I know that it will pale in comparison to you all.
God bless you,